Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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