your thong is hanging out like whoa
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
