I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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