and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
