are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
