I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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