How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
