turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
