Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
