They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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