So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
