No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
