I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
