So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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