I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
