Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
