She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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