I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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