Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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