The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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