I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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