textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
