If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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