U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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