Sponge bath it is.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
