3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
