Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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