whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
