But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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