wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
