Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
