I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
