You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
