You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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