i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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