No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
