It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
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the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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