Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Terrible idea I love it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?