Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence

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  (303): And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open? (1-303): That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence http://tfl.nu/qwl7
  Replies (8) Good night (2459) Bad night (654)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout

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  (215): I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout http://tfl.nu/qm9m
  Replies (11) Good night (6258) Bad night (519)
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  (925): View more from California

  I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

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  (925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j
  Replies (22) Good night (6495) Bad night (1270)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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  (514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes http://tfl.nu/cth1
  Replies (21) Good night (7742) Bad night (1298)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW

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  (403): OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/587x
  Replies (15) Good night (5073) Bad night (1129)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?

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  (303): Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket? http://tfl.nu/im3g
  Replies (8) Good night (2524) Bad night (885)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

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  (203): Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home http://tfl.nu/rxky
  Replies (4) Good night (2075) Bad night (770)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

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  (615): I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister http://tfl.nu/e4ue
  Replies (6) Good night (1419) Bad night (644)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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  (864): Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some. http://tfl.nu/bkik
  Replies (27) Good night (3410) Bad night (913)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.

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  (717): After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again. http://tfl.nu/ujp5
  Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (847)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait

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  (787): I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait http://tfl.nu/887l
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (487)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.

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  (216): I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches. http://tfl.nu/a2wa
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (334)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....

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  (406): And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night.... http://tfl.nu/0vfo
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (225)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.

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  (252): You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/kiqx
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (212)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers

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  (301): I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers http://tfl.nu/hsgj
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (269)

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