Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

(503): View more from Oregon

Succeeded.

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(404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020

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(305): View more from Florida

Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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(305): Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D: http://tfl.nu/t26u

Replies (12) Good night (2391) Bad night (729)
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(510): View more from California

So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school

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(510): So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school http://tfl.nu/z2dy

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(909): View more from California

I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it

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(909): I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it http://tfl.nu/7yht

Replies (40) Good night (1128) Bad night (9214)
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(876): View more from Jamaica

you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom

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(876): you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom http://tfl.nu/vb0z

Replies (8) Good night (1320) Bad night (5125)
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(404): View more from Georgia

It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

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(404): It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more. http://tfl.nu/2mzd

Replies (17) Good night (1318) Bad night (7756)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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(419): I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat? http://tfl.nu/2nrh

Replies (30) Good night (1125) Bad night (4144)
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(817): View more from Texas

I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.

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(817): I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas. http://tfl.nu/7s9z

Replies (14) Good night (4351) Bad night (826)
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(813): View more from Florida

she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter

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(813): she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter http://tfl.nu/6hrd

Replies (5) Good night (2534) Bad night (624)
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(815): View more from Illinois

walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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(815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw

Replies (5) Good night (2339) Bad night (1011)
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(518): View more from New York

My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

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(518): My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday. http://tfl.nu/tcvi

Replies (5) Good night (1671) Bad night (479)
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(607): View more from New York

Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.

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(607): Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun. http://tfl.nu/atlx

Replies (6) Good night (523) Bad night (1798)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.

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(202): Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice. http://tfl.nu/it26

Replies (9) Good night (413) Bad night (2452)
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(949): View more from California

When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless

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(949): When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless http://tfl.nu/xa8r

Replies (7) Good night (1177) Bad night (542)
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(+61): View more from Australia

If tits could talk, mine would be bragging

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(+61): If tits could talk, mine would be bragging http://tfl.nu/uf52

Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (170)

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