seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.