So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Watching her eat just hurts me
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Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me