we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after