i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
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Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now