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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh God

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles. 

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You'd think the first few times would have been enough

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.

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• (310): View more from California

  You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.

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• (331): View more from Illinois

  She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"

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