so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn