Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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  (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0
  Replies (20) Good night (1016) Bad night (6709)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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  (541): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/1se4
  Replies (72) Good night (6711) Bad night (2115)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

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  (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?? http://tfl.nu/c1fp
  Replies (33) Good night (10842) Bad night (1205)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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  (506): I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why. http://tfl.nu/rcz3
  Replies (18) Good night (5050) Bad night (1175)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

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  (817): One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night? http://tfl.nu/ookm
  Replies (2) Good night (2383) Bad night (742)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...

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  (260): Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall... http://tfl.nu/rel8
  Replies (6) Good night (1625) Bad night (680)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.

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  (631): He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment. http://tfl.nu/k4e4
  Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (866)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.

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  (770): Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance. http://tfl.nu/v36b
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (475)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.

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  (515): Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use. http://tfl.nu/510e
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (376)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"

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  (828): At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing" http://tfl.nu/dl2i
  Replies (9) Good night (1245) Bad night (422)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.

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  (208): I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook. http://tfl.nu/vmgg
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (584)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.

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  (513): The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex. http://tfl.nu/e8ga
  Replies (2) Good night (959) Bad night (358)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.

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  (719): I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch. http://tfl.nu/zn95
  Replies (1) Good night (920) Bad night (492)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.

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  (716): Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her. http://tfl.nu/cpaa
  Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (382)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  drunk brunch me or lose me forever

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  (203): drunk brunch me or lose me forever http://tfl.nu/5hxy
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (306)

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