I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
