last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
