thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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