you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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