Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
