Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
