You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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