I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
