I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
