Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
