You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
