Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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