Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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