I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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