This house was built for laser tag.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
