hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
