foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
