so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wear drunk well.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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