You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
